How to Make a Sex Talk Super Simple and Effective

Amy Lang
by Amy Lang

It’s really easy! Just use my magic formula: Facts + Values.

Fact = What it is.

Value = What you believe about it.

Here’s what it looks like in action:

Boy: “Mom, what’s a blow job?”

Mom: “Excellent question! A blow job is slang for oral sex on a guy. Oral sex is when one person puts their mouth on another person’s penis or vulva.I believe oral sex isn’t something kids do because sex isn’t for kids.I think it should be part of a committed sexual relationship, and not something done casually or in exchange for something else. It’s not something you ever HAVE to do.”

Or, if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing and consistently starting sex talks, it looks like this:

Mom: “Hey, (boy-child), what do you know about tampons?”

Boy: “Gross, mom. Something with periods…?”

Mom: “Right! A tampon fits inside a girl or woman’s body and it captures the blood from her period. I believe tampons are one of the top five inventions of the 20th century.”

See how easy this is? This strategy is one of the simplest ways to get a sex talk started and to keep them going.

And lucky you, I just gave you two scripts you can put right to work!

About the Author

A sexual health educator for over 20 years, Amy Lang, MA teaches parents of all beliefs how to talk to kids of any age about the birds and the bees. She is the author of the award winning book Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids – A Guide to Sharing Your Beliefs About Sexuality, Love, and Relationships and Dating Smarts: What Every Teen Needs to Date, Relate or Wait. She created the lively and engaging video Birds + Bees + Kids – The Basics so parents can learn how to talk to their kids about sex and values without leaving the couch! Amy is still married to her first husband and they are getting the hang of parenting their teenage son. She lives in Seattle, WA. Learn more at


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